Fighting Who I Am
by krazywriter20
Summary: Katherine has to learn to love again and find out who she is while not betraying her friends throughout the process.
1. Chapter 1

I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of.

~Michel de Montaigne

Fighting Who I Am

Dear Katherine,

This isn't what I wanted for you. It never was what I had planned. I guess life never really works out the way that you expect it to. Life has a way of making your plans change. It's strange how the things I've been hunting are the things that saved your life. What you are is a secret. It will be our secret. We never had secrets together. I'll take this to the grave with me. I love you. I love you so much I really honestly do. I just want you to know that I don't hate you. You may not understand why I did this but maybe someday you will. I hope you forgive me. I don't want you to hate me. I don't hate you. You may think that I do but I don't. I love you so much. Destroy this letter. I know you may not want to but you should. Your father and I are so proud of you. We always have been proud of you. We will continue to be proud of you. No matter what you decide to do with your life. Make the right decisions. Always remember who you are and where came from. Don't let anyone make you change. You have the power to do whatever you want. Always do the right things in life. Don't make bad decisions. I love you. I always will love you and that will never change. I am very sorry that I can't be around anymore. I will deeply miss you. Maybe I will see you again I can't be sure though. I wish I could be though. Good luck with your life. Continue to make us proud. All you have to do is make yourself happy and I will be happy for you.

Love,

Mother

**Chapter 1**

**B**

eep. Beep. Beep.

I rolled over in my bed and looked at the clock. 6:30am. I was so going to be late. This was not good. She was so going to kill me for being late _again_. I was so tired even though I had gotten a lot of sleep last night. I was only going to lie down for a few more minutes. I had time. It's not like she was ever on time. She always showed up late. I didn't have to worry about being lazy because she always is. Or usually she is.

"Did a tornado happen or something? I mean really. What happened in here?" a voice asked.

Like I said usually she's lazy.

"Funny. Real funny," I said as I rolled my eyes at her.

She tried to be funny but she usually wasn't funny. More like annoying than anything. That was Keira. She was annoyingly funny sometimes. It was one of the many well only things I loved about her. I'm joking. There's a lot to like about her. Like. Well she you know. She can be, um nice.

I could sit here and tell you a lot of things about her like how she eats only eggs for breakfast and how she hates certain colors but I am not going to waste my time with telling you stuff that is useless.

I will only tell you important stuff that you need to know about Keira. Keira is very kind hearted and she is special. She's been my best friend for a very long time. We have a lot of secrets together. We know things that lots of people don't know about us. Oh she also likes to break into my house. Well she says that it's not breaking into my house but I think it is. Well I guess it's not technically breaking into my house since she has a key. I kind of told her not to use it unless it's an emergency. She uses it more than she should. She uses it even when it is not an emergency. She uses it pretty much all the time. It's kind of annoying, but I guess that's what I get for having a friend like her. It's my own fault for giving her the key to my house. The only person I can blame is me.  
"So Kat do you like my hair?" Keira said as she twirled her hair for me.

Instead of her golden brown locks she had black hair with strips of fuchsia. It looked wonderful.

"Your hair is gorgeous," I said. "I'm jealous. I really am."

I was jealous and I wasn't lying. She never had to spend hours perfecting her hair. Her hair was just naturally gorgeous.

"Do you really?" She asked me. She knew that I loved it. I never lied to her and she knows that.

"Now we just have to do something with your hair," She said as she touched my awful hair.

Compared to Keira's hair I looked like a poodle and not a pretty poodle. An ugly poodle. Well maybe not ugly, but not all that cute. My hair is poofy dirty blonde.

"Thankfully I have a solution to this problem," She said.

Oh no. No no no. No. Those are the worst words to _EVER_ hear _ever_. The last time I heard those words well there is a lot of things I could tell you about the last time I heard those words but I'll give you only one incident who knows you may be able hear about more. Well one time she decided to dye my hair and I got stuck with yellow hair. Yellow and not a pretty yellow either. Actually I don't think any yellow would look good in hair. It was supposed to be brown. Don't ask me how she got yellow but she did. Sometimes if you look close enough you can still see yellow.

She knew that I was hesitating. If I didn't answer her soon she was going to either force me into it or beg me to death. Neither were good ideas.

"Oh please let me just do it ," She said. Oh no. No. Don't.

This was how it was going down. Fine. I won't give in. I'm stronger than her. I can't let her win this. There is no way in hell I am letting her do this to me.

Puppy dog face. She's using the puppy dog face. I cannot believe she is using the puppy dog face. It's my one weakness she has against me. You know what? It doesn't matter. I won't say yes. I can't. I don't have to say yes to her. I don't have to let her win.

It was a stare down. Who was going to break first? Me or her. I could hear the clock in the kitchen ticking. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

"Wait a minute," I said. "What about the mansion?" I asked. She must have forgotten that we were supposed to go to the mansion.

Try to get out of that. Ha!

"Oh Layla and Dylan are doing it. I thought it was time that Dylan got some experience and I mean you know that Layla totally has a crush on Dylan. I thought that since she has a crush on Dylan that they should do it together. "She said. She won.

Keira 1 Katherine 0

Red. It's red. I can't believe this. It is red. Red I tell you. My hair is red. I just I can't believe this. It's unreal.

"So what do you think?" Keira asked.

I could tell she was anxious for my answer. I was still trying to get over my hair and she wanted my answer. I think she thought I was upset about it. I wasn't. I was happy about it. I really was.

"I so totally love it. It is gorgeous. Thank you Keira. This means a lot to me that you would to this for me. And it's not yellow." I said laughing.

Keira smiled at me and I knew she was happy. I was happy also. This was a good moment.

"Well I tried very hard for me not to turn your hair yellow. I didn't really think that you would appreciate it that much. I mean last time I did it you weren't very happy. I got better at dying hair." Keira said very pleased of herself.

We both smiled at each other. This is what I love about Keira. She really helps me forget about everything even if it is only for a few minutes.

"Friends for life." Keira said.

"Friends for life." I replied.

We really would be friends for life. We both knew it. It wasn't something that was ever going to change. Nothing and I mean NOTHING would change this. It is a sacred bond between us.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Dear Katherine,

My daughter you have finally awoken and I am so happy to hear that. I won't be able to see you again. I never told you this, but I think it's time for you to know. It is very hard for me to tell you this. I am dying. This isn't how I wanted to tell you. Please forgive me. I don't know if you are still upset with me but if you are I'm sorry. I don't know if you have read my last letter. You probably have. This may come a few days late, but it doesn't matter. Don't try to find me. You won't be able to find me. I'm not far away from you. You have a piece of me.

Love,

Your Mother.

I put down the letter. This was the last letter I ever got from my mother. She wanted me to burn all the letters but I couldn't. I couldn't destroy the only thing I ever had from her. I unconsciously touched my necklace around my neck. It was my mother's necklace. Her mother gave it to her and then she passed it down to me. She gave it to me when I was 14. It was an amulet. It was a gold amulet with a star. It meant everything to me. I would never go a day without wearing it. It was the closest thing I had to her. It reminded me that she was never far from me. She was looking over me and protecting me at all times. She was my own personal guardian angel.

I missed my mother very much. She saved my life when she should have saved her own life. She should have never done what she did for me. My mother always thought of overs before herself. She was a healer and she was special.

I remembered the first day I awoke in this new strange life. It was certainly a very strange day.

815 AD.

I woke up in a room that was definitely not mine. I was in an unfamiliar room. I had never seen this room before. The walls were white and there was barely anything in the room. There was a chair and a desk and a bed which I was currently lying in. I noticed I could smell so much better. I could smell something but, it was unfamiliar so I couldn't figure out what it was.

I heard voices. There were about three different voices. I slowly got out of bed. I walked over to the mirror on the wall. The first thing I noticed was my blonde hair. It looked cleaner then I have ever seen it.

My usually green emerald eyes were bloodshot red. I opened and closed my eyes for a few seconds and when I finally took the courage to look at them again they were back to normal. No blood shot red just emerald. Just the way they are supposed to be.

I'm overthinking things. It's probably just because I awoke in a place I don't know and now I am freaking out. I just need to calm down. I'm sure my mom can explain everything to me.

"The girl has awakened Klaus," a girl said. I hadn't even heard anyone walk in the room so when she spoke she startled me.

I slowly turned around and saw a guy with light blonde hair step into the room. He was wearing a grey t-shirt and black pants. I started backing up afraid of what was going to happen. I walked backwards until I felt the cold white wall behind me. They all seemed to be watching me very closely. It was unsettling.

My instincts kicked in and I slowly turned around. I took the chair by me and broke off a leg. I threw it at him and he slowly just reached up and grabbed it. The guy who is probably Klaus started laughing. He threw it down on the ground.

"You won't hurt me well you could but, I don't think you would want to harm someone who saved your life. Now would you?" He asked me with a hint of a smirk on his face.

He looked like he was enjoying all of this. I couldn't believe it. This was not happening. It had to be a dream. It was only a dream. Right? just a dream. Only a dream. A bad dream.

I couldn't believe the words I was hearing. He saved my life. What is going on? I am so confused.

"I'm Klaus and it is very nice to meet you Katherine."

The girl who had stepped into the room screamed or I thought she screamed. I realized it was me who actually screamed.

"Don't be scared. You have nothing to be afraid of. I won't hurt you. None of us will hurt you. She will let you down if you promise not to do anything stupid. I promise I won't hurt you either. None of us want to hurt you. I promise."

I looked at the girl. She looked like any normal girl but she wasn't. I knew it. She didn't want to look at me and I didn't know why. I could see she wanted to let me down. She didn't want to keep me against the wall, but yet she wouldn't look at me. I tried to make eye contact with her but she just stared at something on the wall by me. I knew there wasn't anything to stare at but it almost looked like there was by how intent she was staring at it. Maybe she was focusing hard.

I nodded slowly and Klaus gave the okay to the girl and I was let back down on the floor.

"The tea is ready Klaus." A girl said.

He turned to her and said something I didn't hear and then she left.

Klaus turned back to all of us. He had a smile on his face. Or it looked like a smile. I couldn't be sure.

"Tea is ready," He said as he turned around and left the room.

A girl stayed. She looked at me. She seemed to be studying me. It was kind of creepy.

"May I help you?" I asked.

At first I didn't think she heard me, but soon she looked up at me and looked into my eyes.

"I'm Annabelle." She said.

Annabelle. It fit her. It did. Annabelle had golden hair that flowed over her shoulders and down to her back. She was wearing a light orange dress.

"I'm Katherine." I said.

She looked at me like she was shocked.

"What is it?" I asked her.

"Katherine. I had a friend named Katherine once." She said. She looked like she was sad.

"Oh. What happened? If you don't mind me asking." I asked. I was intrigued now.

"She was murdered. I don't need to tell you what by. It's why I hate it here," She said and slowly turned around.

I wasn't sure what she meant by "I don't need to tell you what by" did she mean that she didn't want me to know or that I knew what it was. It was like she was talking in code.

I am definitely going crazy. That's it. Yep. I am going crazy or maybe everyone around me is going crazy. Well either way someone's going crazy and I don't know how I feel about it.

She turned around before I could ask her.

"You know which one it is. You know what it is. That's what I mean. She was killed by them and I want my revenge. You know that though. You live by revenge. It's what keeps you sane. You would be crazy without revenge. I'm 14 and I don't have any family. My sister was murdered in cold blood. I saw it happen. My other sister is gone. She may be dead I don't even know. I don't know if I want to know." She said.

The entire time she spoke she looked off into the distance like she was reliving the scene. She looked like she was seeing it all happen again. There wasn't pain on her face though. She looked almost happy but she wasn't. She was going crazy by this. I felt so bad for her. I wanted to help her so badly, but there wasn't anything I could do. She finally looked at me and I felt like I had to look away but couldn't.

"Don't feel bad for me. I've had enough people feel bad for me to last a lifetime. I don't need you to feel sorry for me. I've gotten over it slowly. Very slowly. That's what happens when you see someone die you slowly just get over it or it drives you mad. I couldn't let it drive me mad, because I still had a life to live." She said.

"I know how you feel," I said. And I did. I knew very well how she felt. I had lived her life. Well not her life.

"I know you do." She said with a small smile on her face.

Her eyes looked tired. She looked very tired. She looked like a sad little girl. Which I guess in a way she was. She had lost her parents when she was little and she saw her sister get murdered when she was young. So she was a sad young girl. That's exactly what she is.'

"You know we are the same. You saw your dad die when you were young. What age were you? Six?" she said.

I was shocked. How could she know? I hadn't mentioned it.

"I was seven when I saw my dad die." I said.

"I was 11 my dad died from a disease. We still don't know what it is. My mom died when I was 13. She killed herself. She was in so much pain and she put herself out of that pain. She didn't leave her room ever. She was depressed. Luckily I wasn't the one who found her dead. It was my sister. My sister had to walk into her room and find her on the bed dead. I don't know what she went through but I don't' want to imagine. It was a depressing time. We all were depressed, but when my mother died my sister kept living. She had me move with her and we came here. My sister died in the woods. We went to pick some food from the garden. She was attacked. She was blindsided. I'm pretty sure they would have killed me if it wasn't for Klaus. I really believe that they wanted me dead. I just had that feeling that they wanted me dead. I would have accepted it though. I would have died peacefully. I was peaceful that day. I was just ready. I was accepting of death. Our hobby was gardening. It was the one thing that we both loved to do. The day she started gardening I went out there and I was like what is she doing and then I don't know I just helped her. We didn't talk at all we just worked. My other sister disappeared. She was just gone one day." She said.

"I never had a sister. I always wanted a sister though. Someone I could love and fight with." I said.

"It's not all that great. It's not. You kind of fight a lot even if you don't want to. Fighting with isn't that fun. I always hated fighting with my sister. It killed me whenever I f ought with her. I was upset with her when she died so I had to live with that. I have to live with how she died. I hope she doesn't hate me but I don't think she does. Having a sister it's not all that truly amazing as it may seem. And you also may lose them one day and that isn't a good feeling. Revenge. You wouldn't have a job without revenge. You wouldn't. You wouldn't be able to do what you always do if it wasn't for revenge. You want revenge for your dad. You're upset about what happened to your dad. Sometimes revenge is a bad thing. It can make you do things that you aren't proud of." She said.

I didn't know what was up with this girl. She seemed to know everything about me. I had barely even spoken to her. It kind of felt like she wasn't speaking to me she was just talking. It didn't even feel like she was talking about my life when she was. It felt like a story that I didn't want to believe. It was my life. She was explaining my life when she was talking about her own also.

Klaus walked back into the room.

"Are you girls coming or not?" he asked and left the room again.

We both looked at each other unsure of what to say. There was a silence between us. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence though. It was a good kind of silence. It was a silence where you knew that you were okay. I knew that I was okay with her.


End file.
